Gardening Feng Shui
Aside from tending to my various potted vegetables and my annual array of sunflowers, you will find that I spend very little of my time outside in the back garden of my house; you will usually find me glued to keyboard of my PC, playing on my PS3 or re-watching old episodes of Doctor Who for the umpteenth time rather than find me in sat out in the garden. I am generally an indoor person.
This wasn’t always the case. Until recently it would be commonplace to find me sat outside in the garden reading a book, writing an overdue blog entry (a bit like this one) or eating an evening meal alfresco-styley (albeit in all likelihood a microwave curry or a Rustlers chicken burger, but hey, it’s still a meal) like they do in them there foreign countries. So what happened? Why do I no longer spend my time out in the fresh air amongst my sunflowers and spring onions?
I gave up smoking.
Regardless of whether it was a warm July evening or a rain-sodden cold January afternoon, if the craving for a Lucky Strike suddenly hit me I
would don my smoking jacket (usually the nearest coat that came to hand) and step outside for a good puff. Whilst I was out there inhaling all sorts of nasties I would tend to the garden, read a newspaper or just sit down and relax – I may have been filling my lungs with toxic death but at least I was outside. But once I’d stopped smoking I no longer felt the need to venture outside the back door, save for the aforementioned gardening duties and the weekly chore of taking out the wheelie bin. It seemed as if my back garden was strictly out of bounds.
In order to rectify this I decided to give may garden a makeover. As someone, who on occasion, has been falsely accused of looking a little bit like TV makeover expert Gok Wan, I took this passing resemblance as qualification for me to transform my garden into a space unburdened by the memories of nicotine abuse, a space that I could once again use to display bohemian tendencies and enjoy a microwave burger in the sunshine.
If you are expecting the tale of this garden makeover to be one fraught with all the excitement of a typical TV makeover show then forget it! All I have done is reposition the cold frame, move a few pots around and purchased some new garden furniture.
Gone are the cheap plastic table and chairs that were in a perpetual state of uncleanliness, gone is the cold frame that brushed against the washing as it hung out to dry on the washing line, gone are the wind chimes that were a great idea in theory but ultimately fucking annoying. In their place are a set of comfortable chairs and a parasol – in effect I have performed garden Feng Shui. Look:
This blog is produced with the assistance of outdated laptops and Czech lagers
Now that my garden has been transformed it is a given that we will suffer one of the coldest, wettest summers since records began. I don’t care, come rain or shine I will be out there taking in the fresh air and watching my garden grow.
Categorised as: The World of Me